Not its intended purpose

May 15, 2008 at 9:35 am (Uncategorized)

Contrary to popular belief around here, I did not purchase my slightly used but still very serviceable living room furniture solely to provide comfort to the dogs. I’m getting sick and tired of coming up the stairs and seeing this…

I did not buy this furniture for you, dog. I did not travel into Minneapolis with a U-Haul and sit on the chair in the apartment of a very crunchy granola lady thinking “my, but wouldn’t this make the perfect bed for the dogs to enjoy their afternoon nap on”. No, I did not. I also was not thinking you would enjoy this chair as much as you obviously do when I drew blood on my hand maneuvering it into the U-Haul – the scar from which still hasn’t faded.

No, Lola, and you too Spice, the household furniture decisions to not turn on your comfort. You are ruining my new chair. My new chair that originally came from Crate & Barrel, making it one of the better pieces of furniture in the house. Could you have picked the $50 bed that “fell off a truck”? I realize that this chair is old and soft and therefore even more appealing, but I rather like it without the Lola-shaped dent in the cushion. And Spice, if you must climb all over it, could you please keep your fur attached to your body, it’s impossible to vacuum up.

Now that we’ve established this is unacceptable behaviour, would someone please tell me how to keep the dogs off the damn things?


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